* This article is republished with the kind permission of the author, Ukthi Neesa. The original can be found on http://anneesa.hadithuna.com/. She manages her own blog, writes inspiring stories about her personal journey as a muslimah.
Salaam ya ukhti ya akhi.
This sentence can be whatever you want it to be. It is how you perceive yourself and how you perceive the opposite sex. I did not place a comment limit on per person, neither did I limit the number of ways you could structure this sentence. =)
A person who values both sexes, whom acknowledges that one cannot be without the other, would type both sentences.
This is not to say that those who choose to write one sentence only is wrong, no no, that is not my intention.
I would like you to ask yourself why do you think that way. And since most of the commenters were women, we should ask ourselves why do we think that a man, without his woman is nothing?
Ibn Abbas and a group of companions of the Prophet (PBUH) narrated that when Iblis was sent out of Paradise and Adam was accommodated therein, Adam was alone in Paradise and did not have a partner from whom he could get tranquility.
He slept for some time and when he woke up, he saw a woman whom Allah had created from his ribs.
Since the beginning of time, the position of women was acknowledge its importance. Prophet Adam was lonely in Paradise hence Allah created him a companion so he may share his joys and seek peace within another being.
The Angel Gabriel (Jibril) came to our Prophet and commanded him to read. Our Prophet (SAW) replied “I cannot read!â€.
Gabriel embraced Muhammad (SAW) until he cannot breathe and then let him go saying “O Muhammad! Read!â€
Again, our Prophet (SAW) replied “I cannot read!â€
Gabriel embraced Muhammad (SAW) for the second time. He then ordered him to read for the third time, when he did not, he embraced him tightly until he could not breathe, and then released him saying
“O Muhammad! Recite with the Name of Your Lord Who has created (all that exists). He has created man out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Read! And your Lord is the Most generous†(96: 1-3)
Our Prophet SAW returned home trembling. He entered his home and told Saydatina Khadijah “O wife! Cover me up! Cover me up!â€
Khadijah covered her husband and comfort him until he felt better. He then told her about what had happened to him in the Cave of Hira.
He said “I was concerned about myself and my well-beingâ€.
Khadijah assured her husband saying:
“By Allah! You do not have to worry! Allah, the Exalted will never humiliate you! You are good to your kith and kin. You help the poor and needy. You are generous and hospitable to your guests. You help people who are in need.â€
And by Allah’s will, Khadijah, wife of our Prophet was one of the first women to accept the calling of Islam. Masya-Allah.
Again, Khadijah was brought to our Prophet just so he could seek tranquility and comfort at times when he is distress. Masya-Allah. Allah has exalted our status as such that we, women, bring comfort to mankind at times of distress.
Both examples confirm the fact that a “Woman: without her, man is nothing.â€
As for the other sentence, we revert to the life of Prophet Ayuub Alahissalam (Job).
When Prophet Ayuub was striken with disease and calamities, the only person who remained by his side, forever faithful and loyal to him was his wife. Then one day Syaitan Nir-Rajm came to his wife and reminded her of the days when Ayuub was well and their family was thriving.
She confronted her husband and said : â€How long are you going to bear this torture from our Lord? Are we to remain without wealth, children or friends forever? Why don’t you call upon Allah to remove this suffering?â€
Job sighed, and in a soft voice replied : “Iblis must have whispered to you and made you dissatisfied. Tell me how long did I enjoy good health and riches?â€
She replied: “80 years.â€
Then Job replied: “How long am I suffering like this?â€
She said: “7 years.â€
Job then told her: “In that case I am ashamed to call on my Lord to remove the hardship, for I have not suffered longer than the years of good health and plenty. It seems your faith has weakened and you are dissatisfied with the fate of Allah. If I ever regain health, I swear I will punish you with a hundred strokes! From this day onward, I forbid myself to eat or drink anything by your hand. Leave me alone and let my Lord do with me as He pleases.â€
Crying bitterly and with a heavy heart, she had no choice but to leave him and seek shelter elsewhere. In his helpless state, Prophet Ayuub appealed to Allah, asking for His mercy.
Almighty Allah instructed: “Remember Our slave Job, when he invoked His Lord saying: “Verily! Satan has touched me with distress (by losing my health) and torment (by losing my wealth)!†Allah said to him: “Strike the ground with your foot: This is a spring of water to wash in and cool and a refreshing drink.†And We gave him back his family, and along with them the like thereof as a Mercy from Us, and a reminder for those who understand”. (38:41-43)
Job obeyed and almost immediately his good health was restored. Meanwhile, his faithful wife could not longer bear to be parted from her husband and returned to him to beg his forgiveness, desiring to serve him.
On entering her house, she was amazed at the sudden change: Job was again healthy! She embraced him and thanked Allah for His mercy.
Job was not worried, for he had taken an oath to punish her with a hundred strokes if he had regained health but he had no desire to hurt her. He knew if he did not fulfill the oath, he would be guilty of breaking a promise to Allah. Therefore in His wisdom and mercy, Allah came to the assistance of His faithful servant and advised him:
“Take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith your wife, and break not your oath.†Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft returning in repentance to Us!†(38:44)
In this case, a wife, without her husband, she feels utterly miserable and yearn to feel her husband’s love and company. Masya-Allah.
There are many more examples from the Quran and from the libraries of islamic histories which compliment both sides of the coin.
Truth of the fact remains that Allah made both men and women so we could compliment each other. Two halves makes a complete one. Where the husband lacks, the wife will fulfill and where the wife lacks, the husband will fulfill.
Though there is verse in the Holy Quran which states that men is made superior over women, neither gender should feel that one is better then the other because each lack qualties that the other has.
Men are made indeed superior to women, they are larger then us, they think with their heads (subject to argument on which ‘head’) rather then their hearts, strength wise they are also stronger then us.
They are made that way so we women could feel safe in their presence. Wives, do you not feel protected in your husbands arms? Do you not feel that he is the strongest person in your world when he opened that bottle of pickle for you? Do you not feel that he is the gentlest person in your world when he holds your children in his arms?
Women, we are lovable timid docile fragile creatures. Despite our “we can live without men†outer apperance, deep down inside, we crave for their attention and affection. We seek their warmth and tenderness when we feel cold and afflicted by the cruel world. We seek their wisdom when we are stunted by our own.
We are also aware that men, deep down inside, are marshmellows. They melt when they are being loved by their women. They go all mush when they see their family together, healthy and happy. They do sulk when we do not pay any attention to them.
My friends always thought my father was a ‘fierce’ person due to his apperance. And they always marvel how I do not fear him and is always very affectionate (manja) despite having friends over at my house.
That’s because they do not know how my parents behave when they are around family. My father is most gentle person in my world (second is Hardy), he loves my mother so very much that he would do anything for her.
To others, my parents may look like they maintain the fact that my father is the head of the family and makes all the decisions. But behind close doors, truth is, he doesn’t make any decision without consulting my mother.
Because to him, without her, he is nothing.
Vice versa, to my mother, without my father, she is nothing.
My mother told me something wise when I was quite young. She said:
“Lai, tuah laki, selain datang dari Allah, datang dari berkat doa bininya.â€
“A husband’s luck, aside from Allah, comes from the duaa of his wife.â€
And from the recent post, we know that the duaa of a woman is more makbul then a man because of her loving nature. Insya-Allah.
Wives, make duaa for your husbands because of your loving nature, Allah will hear your calling.
Husbands, treat your wives with respect and adoration, without her, you would not find tranquility.
With that, I leave you with a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad SAW:
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“O Muslims! I advise you to be gentle with women, for they are created from a rib, and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part. If you try to straighten it, it will break and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women.†(Sahih Bukhari).
Where as for the classic chicken-egg argument as to which came first, I remember this question during my first year and according to my ancient Biology textbook (2003), the egg came first because life begins from a single cell, in both man and animal.
As we observe from the Surah given previously that man was created from a clot of blood, and before that clot of blood, it was the simple fusion between a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg and both are made up of living cells.
Without the adjoining of men and women, mankind would cease to exist. And that is why, one cannot be, without the other.
Insya-Allah.
Fi Aman Allah.
Ma’salaama.
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